Too many demands
Commanded on July 21, 2024.
Close the door! Open the window! Close the other window! Open the door! Close the blinds! Close the door! Lock the door! Shut the door! Bar the door! Bar the windows! Barricade the door! Nail the door shut! Close all the windows! Nail them all shut! Don’t let it in!
Block the chimney! Seal the doors shut! Seal the windows! Cover the glass! Turn off the lights! Close the shades! Open that window! Close that other window! Lock the oven! Bar the refrigerator door! Tape over the outlets! Glue the carpets down! Glue the walls down! Glue the ceiling up!
Quick, lock the oven! Bar the oven door! Nail the cabinets shut! Nail the doors! Don’t let it out! Don’t let it out! No, don’t let it in! Break off the doorknobs! Break them all off!
Seal up all the locks! Seal up all the holes! Turn off the lights! Turn the chairs upside down! Don’t let it in! Don’t let it out! Close all the windows again! Seal them up! Wire them shut! Pull the wires out of the wall! Use these wires! Use these! Use a coat hanger! Use an arp! Use a coat hanger as an arp!
No, don’t let it in! Brace the doors! Brace the ceiling! Brace the alarm clocks! No, don’t let it in! It’s at the windows again—stop it! Cover the glass! Cover the glass with horse mucus! Get the Schmarnocks flowers! Use the nose hair trimmer! No, use the buttwash—!!
No, don’t look at it! It’s in the living room! It’s coming out of the stove! It’s coming in through the outlets! No, don’t look at it! Hide! Hide! Run, run, hide! It’s all over the place! The gnomes—know it was the gnomes! They’re everywhere! Oh doG, they’re everywhere!!
No, don’t look at it! Hide inside the windows! It can’t get in there! Hide deeper! Hide hidier! Wait—don’t look at it again! No, no! No!! Get the fire extinguisher! Get the hose! The oven is on fire! The turkey—oh my doG, it’s moving! The turkey is moving!!
It’s all around us! It’s really over! The windows are all open! The door is unlocked! The door is open! The doors are all open! The front door, the back door, the side door, the cat door, the dog door, the cellar door! Sela-Dûr is coming! Through the cellar door!
It’s coming in! Stop it! Stop it before it’s too late! Bar the windows! Throw down the sash! Rip up all the carpeting! It’s in the rugs! It’s under the rugs! They’re everywhere! The walls are shimmering! So many shimmering! So much shimmering!! The oven is going to explode—!!
It’s everywhere! It’s unstoppable! It’s ineffable! It’s indefatigable! It’s wearing Saturday on its back! It’s coming from the cabinets! It’s coming from the wainscoting! It’s in! It’s in!! It’s in, it’s in, it’s in—!! It’s all over! It’s all over!! It’s all over!!! It’s all over!! It’s all over!!!