Dogging the Balphonse
Hemidemisemiquavered on May 29, 2022.
“Barry? Is that short for Barold? Or Bawrence?” I asked.
The door slammed again in my face.
I pondered. His name wasn’t Terwilligus Saltibalz. It wasn’t Gnaddeus Underdong McDoggerel Kleinbutt. I still didn’t know and he wouldn’t tell me, hating my guts and all. I pondered harder. It wasn’t Tyler. It wasn’t Taylor. It wasn’t Fillmore nor was it Hayes. It certainly wasn’t William Henry Harrison (who died in thirty days). I floundered hard. Maybe, just maybe, it was…
“Oh, I got it! Balphonse!!”
It kept getting half as long but twice as goo—