Entries mentioning gnomes • Pnårp

gnomes

They wheedle and needle me to death, nattering and chattering, descending from the sky on golden parachutes, and landing behind my wainscoting! Oh, how they sing and dance! The lawn gnomes are driving me insane!

Entries mentioning gnomes
Afloat down the River Severn Zephyred on December 1, 2024
Plårped again Curled up before November 24, 2024
There are no bagels there Spaced on November 17, 2024
No idea about anything Flummoxed on October 27, 2024
Q-Tips, cute tips, a queue of tips Exfiltrated on September 22, 2024
I really should have that broken… Tinned on September 8, 2024
A nipple that could nibble Nuzzled on August 25, 2024
Too many uncertainties Certified on July 28, 2024
Too many demands Commanded on July 21, 2024
Too many questions Questioned on July 7, 2024
Things are looking up Uplit on June 16, 2024
Cows, cowboys, cowgirls, and so much mooing Milked on June 2, 2024
Purple prose asphyxia Blockaded on May 26, 2024
A masterful mañana-man Cunctated on May 5, 2024
So many questions Trebled on April 21, 2024
The case of the windy toilet Manicured on March 10, 2024
Pigs fly just fine Porked on February 18, 2024
Watering the water clocks Watered on January 28, 2024
Shaken and stir crazy Swept on January 21, 2024
My life as a computer Computed on January 14, 2024
The tapering of taped cans and candies Canned on January 7, 2024
The splaying of resplendent splendiferousness Cobbled together on December 31, 2023
Whitewalls, chromedomes, and an asshat with jingle bells Whitened on December 24, 2023
Snow crabs and snow leopards Piled up upon December 3, 2023
A Sefernday to surely forget Sefernalized on November 19, 2023
Musings on the salad of chicken and eggs Emulsified on November 5, 2023
Mulberries, mulbiaries, mubbleducks, and mubbliaries Trussed up on October 29, 2023
A week of weekdays and their horrors Manacled on October 8, 2023
By fish or by Finn Finished after September 10, 2023
Corn gone bacon and eggs Consterned on September 3, 2023
Cwæþ the Pnårp Jactitated on August 27, 2023
Negotiating a goats-for-oats deal Abnegated on August 20, 2023
Playing a katydid like a fiddle Diddled on August 6, 2023
Rejecting both Church Latin and the Ciceronian Conjugated on July 30, 2023
A fresh set of gnome latrines Spun on July 23, 2023
Omental cakes and tires (or a blunch of underwear) Portended on July 16, 2023
Today I was being even more, more or less Been on July 2, 2023
It doesn’t have to—but I always do Needn’t on June 4, 2023
Why fish don’t have feet Expiscated on May 7, 2023
Being a little bit taller Racked on April 16, 2023
Being six feet tall Fathomed on April 9, 2023
The unwary victim of cellular ennui Metabolized on April 2, 2023
Cities of obsidian in the Canadian Shield Dismantled on March 26, 2023
The day ended before it began Endorsed on March 19, 2023
Landing head-first in March Made it on March 5, 2023
To catch a fly Lashed on February 26, 2023
And the rest was history Revised for February 12, 2023
A mystery of hasps and coat hangers Fastened on January 29, 2023
Thinking for myself Cerebrated on January 22, 2023
No more barriers to cross Surpassed on January 15, 2023
Feeling rather non-Euclidean Knotted on January 8, 2023
I am my thoughts… I am time Annuated on January 1, 2023
A real galleyshnogger of a Christmas Dove in on December 25, 2022
Toppings on the bottom? Bottomed out on December 18, 2022
We were bipedal murder chickens Corned on December 11, 2022
Al Gore: A User’s Manual Peered at on December 4, 2022
Thanksgiving with the McBorbleys Thanks given on November 27, 2022
You are a crazy person Maddened on November 20, 2022
With a ploot, ploot, ploot! Born on November 6, 2022
I wish my spoons were stronger Snooped on October 23, 2022
Autumn had arrived Floundered on October 16, 2022
The deep toaster Smeared on October 9, 2022
And then the flies danced Smelt on October 2, 2022
Yet still bereft of meaning Creamed on September 25, 2022
“If” is the middle word in “life” Horrified on September 11, 2022
History looked at me this week Transported on September 4, 2022
Pinguid penguins, disparate parrots, and a Studebaker Basted on August 28, 2022
On any given day Plotted and schemed on August 21, 2022
Catastrophes—but no anastrophe Mishappened on August 14, 2022
Up to my ass in alligators Endangered on August 7, 2022
Two halves of a bagel Misaligned on July 31, 2022
Squirrels, squeeorling, syrup of squill, and squee Cocked up on July 24, 2022
Tuck in flap to close Knocked up on July 17, 2022
Gnocco after gnocco Knocked on on July 10, 2022
The long, greasy road Lubed up on July 3, 2022
A stack of dictionaries, a goat, and the ensuing manure Stacked high on June 26, 2022
Wernicke, Broca, and a two-week, drug-fueled bender Refueled on June 19, 2022
A squiddy meal, a goosey girl, and moles of gnomes Wriggled on June 5, 2022
Whittling the knittery Quavered on May 8, 2022
Flogging the dinosaur Flailed around on May 1, 2022
A stubby little short week Trolloped around on April 24, 2022
An exaggeratedly long week Galloped about on April 17, 2022
A wanted carton of wontons Trotted out on April 10, 2022
A curious nine-day week Dialed on April 3, 2022
Seven point two hundred Committed on March 27, 2022
The twentieth best day of my life Easily understood on March 20, 2022
A hilarious pair of ducks Redpilled on March 13, 2022
The stars screamed at me, but why? Shredded on March 6, 2022
An arduous, odorous, ordurous affair Cannibalized on February 27, 2022
Interwoven threads of witless boobery Spiked on February 20, 2022
Three-eyed gnomes, a lighthouse, and a pair of feet Erred on February 13, 2022
Carpathian Carpentry Gnomes? In my kitchen? Hammered on February 6, 2022
The door slammed in my face Slammed on January 30, 2022
Hard avocados and soft stones Ripened on January 23, 2022
Confound delivery Starched on January 16, 2022
Nothing happened Obliviated on January 9, 2022
New years and new neighbors Bunted on January 2, 2022
Collecting the caps from every bottle of light cream Collected before December 26, 2021
Vigorously shaking every Solanum dulcamara Vigorously shook before December 19, 2021
Vigorously shaking every ficus tree Shook before December 12, 2021
Shouting at every houseplant Shouted at before December 5, 2021
An adventure in Dingleberry–Dumpsterism Dumped and stirred on November 28, 2021
The Dingleberry–Hampsterist–Schmarnocks war Embattled on November 21, 2021
A Sefernday to ſurely remember Obſerved on October 24, 2021
Losing weight at the lost-and-found Bonked on September 19, 2021
And then I’ll fart one more time, and… Intruded upon August 29, 2021
Fish upon the land Phished on July 18, 2021
My arm just follows them Detached on July 11, 2021
An Independence Day to remember In the pants on July 4, 2021
To narfle the gömböc Balanced on June 27, 2021
José Vargas de las Joyas Matemáticas Divided by zero on June 13, 2021
An infinite pie Unbounded on June 6, 2021
A costly, costive dilemma Clystered on April 4, 2021
Christmas, goats, and the fiscal cliff Goat got on December 30, 2012
Mooey, mooey, moo! Lowed at on December 9, 2012
Horses, drugs, and some Volvos Revolved around December 2, 2012
A parable that should explain everything Enchanted on November 18, 2012
Ungabungabugandabunga! Land-locked on November 11, 2012
The geese were angry Angered before November 4, 2012
Ziti—with lines, please Lollygagged on October 28, 2012
In my own back yard Extirpated on September 30, 2012
Livin’ large in the large intestine Emboweled on September 23, 2012
The September that wouldn’t be Elided on September 2, 2012
My competitive worm charming days Vermiculated on August 26, 2012
Upon the Fimbriated Planet Flabbled about on August 5, 2012
And the neckties writhed Spiraled around July 29, 2012
The ÅSS Goose from the Machine Bageled on July 22, 2012
Here I froze and here I died Dubstepped on July 8, 2012
A hortensical Sefernday Hortensed on July 1, 2012
Fungous hitchhikers from outer space Rocketed on June 24, 2012
I am the humperdumperdink! Dumped and dinked on June 10, 2012
My skin was thinking Considered for June 3, 2012
The death of Argo Navis Trisected before April 29, 2012
Surviving April Fools Day Foxholed on April 1, 2012
Toad rental—cheap! Rented on March 18, 2012
Axons across beard-seconds of darkness Stretched out February 19, 2012
Seven point one hundred Released on February 5, 2012
Thoughts diverging from reality Converging on January 29, 2012
Dreams in a hole in the ground Trespassed before January 1, 2012
A journey to Upper Silesia Gruelled on December 18, 2011
A sally to the Kremlin Red squared on December 11, 2011
A jaunt to Washington, D.C. Filibustered on December 4, 2011
Like a herd of turtles Frightened on November 6, 2011
A snootful of donuts Imbibed before October 2, 2011
A paean to panic Glibbered about on September 25, 2011
Gnomes? In my photocopier? Litigated before September 18, 2011
Ten years Hijacked on September 11, 2011
The toadskin kazoo Toads skinned on September 4, 2011
A stick of pepperoni a day Bordured on August 21, 2011
A skeezle-wumpus? In my cabinets? Marred on August 14, 2011
The day ended Gibbered about on August 7, 2011
Just shaving the dog Preened on July 31, 2011
Disgorgement and cheddar Squassated on July 24, 2011
The harooloos grew closer Repositioned on July 17, 2011
Impossibly shaped bowls Whiled away before July 10, 2011
Just so he could moo at someone Percolated on July 3, 2011
Moobly Sefernday! Borndwiddied on June 19, 2011
What the heck… is bothering me? Chanted on June 12, 2011
Potted meat Unpotted on June 5, 2011
Incipits being rather popish Lubricated on May 22, 2011
Reflecting on corn gone wrong Paroled on May 15, 2011
Hnnnngggghhhh! Strained on May 1, 2011
Dyssynergic defecation Splashed down on April 24, 2011
The tight, grimacing face Impacted before April 17, 2011
Plårp and I did our best Potted on April 10, 2011
Cool beans Beaned on March 27, 2011
Rotating in place Caligulated on March 20, 2011
A dark and stormy night Stormdrained on February 6, 2011
Requiem for a triangular briefcase Immured on January 30, 2011
In feckless search of a new body Transplanted before January 23, 2011
Dr. Unterguggenburgerheimer! Diagnosed on January 9, 2011
Fluffernutter… or treacle? Stickied on January 2, 2011
A vainglorious, hooting, tooting Christmas Clamored about on December 26, 2010
Back to Pam & Meg’s Goatmulched on December 12, 2010
An alabasterously magnificent find Found before December 5, 2010
The frozen Pnårp Last thing I remembered on October 24, 2010
Ollanthorpe Memorial Hospital Atrophied before October 10, 2010
Phbthphbthphbthphbththth! Flatulated on October 3, 2010
Parndiddle McForsterbaster Pinned up on September 5, 2010
Tater-totting crunkfire Clapped on… clapped off on August 22, 2010
Two stumblebums for Phillip Norbert Årp Stumbled around on August 8, 2010
Ah, the first of August! Firstly on August 1, 2010
Gnomes destroying my brain and kidneys Urinated on on July 18, 2010
Boom! Boom, boom, boom! Orbited on July 11, 2010
Technicolor horse testicles Nuked on June 27, 2010
Psycho Chicken With Fingers On Top! Squawked upon prior to June 13, 2010
The fleeting nuances of Dingleberry–Hampsterism Guzzled on May 9, 2010
Thousands of Eggmen against one little Pnårp Destalinized on May 2, 2010
I had eggs today! Oviposited on April 18, 2010
Ham by the brick Mechanically extracted on March 28, 2010
A Hilarius pair of ducks Guffawed at after March 14, 2010
Return from the Brundlebeyond Disgorged on March 7, 2010
Stay spooned for more! Spooned on August 10, 2008
Into the Brundlesphere Descended upon on August 3, 2008
Through the tunnel Crossed over on July 27, 2008
The Brundlesphere Entangled on July 20, 2008
Crossing the hatches Pasteurized for June 22, 2008
Not so dead again Recomposed right before March 2, 2008
A whole pile of flapdoodles from Shitlingthorpe Recollected on February 17, 2008
Today is January 27 Punched on January 27, 2008
Gnomes? In my kettles? Nonsensed at January 20, 2008
Lo’ Kweeisha Pornographed on January 13, 2008
Bubble wrap and bubble butts Thawed on January 6, 2008
Free at last Self-addressed and stamped on December 2, 2007
The one true goddess! Duffeled on November 18, 2007
There’s nothing in my head! Scuffled with on November 11, 2007
Snuffle off to Buffalo Sniffled at on November 4, 2007
Strahazazhia smiles upon me Gone wrong on October 28, 2007
The deep blue face of failure Done wrong on October 21, 2007
Graceful as Loquisha’s soles Danced with on October 14, 2007
This is Phillip Norbert Årp’s spaceship Diseased prior to October 7, 2007
Pnårp’s in space Station-kept on September 30, 2007
Why does the pi float? Floated by on September 23, 2007
Why do the stars scream? Screamed about on September 16, 2007
Under Pam & Meg’s Delved under on September 9, 2007
Indeed I can go home again Returned home on August 26, 2007
Dugongs abound in my ear canals! Tiled over on August 19, 2007
Plårp! Plopped down on July 15, 2007
Press any key Pressed on June 24, 2007
Paisley time Enslaved on June 17, 2007
Back to Harry’s Ingratiated on June 10, 2007
Ol’ Grummie’s back! Bungled up on June 3, 2007
Further visages of feet-&-toes Hieroticalized on May 6, 2007
Sleeping in the closet Lamented on April 22, 2007
The laws of Phillip I: Last decree Decreed on April 15, 2007
The laws of Phillip I: Homage Legislated on April 8, 2007
The laws of Phillip I: Taxes Propagated on April 1, 2007
The laws of Phillip I Promulgated on March 25, 2007
Eight years Anniversed four days before March 11, 2007
131,072 Schmongeloid conscripts Decimated on March 4, 2007
No one expects the Schmalkaldic League Vanquished on February 25, 2007
Digging up the back yard Cashed in on February 18, 2007
Alyssa Milano lives! Jury-rigged on February 4, 2007
Suing Alyssa Milano Bombarded after January 14, 2007
Fort Flabberwocky was a myth! Auld acquaintances forgotten on December 31, 2006
’Twas the night before Christmas Prostituted on December 24, 2006
The Great Fluffernutter Deluge of ’58 Whored out on December 10, 2006
Jacking off Jill to a squirrel-fox-dingo Hypothesized on November 5, 2006
Loquisha, you hornswoggler! Added to taste on October 29, 2006
Mesothelioma in a drainage ditch Stir-fried for October 22, 2006
Gnomelandia Day Filleted on October 15, 2006
The Third Coming Chopped lightly on October 8, 2006
Ollanthorpe Savings Bank Puréed on October 1, 2006
I remembered a lot this week! Chopped with a stick on September 24, 2006
Terrorists! Terrorists!! Sporked with some tongs on September 17, 2006
Haldûrburðgar, Lord and Emperor Knifed with a spoon on September 10, 2006
As kudzu crept up her ankles Encircled on August 13, 2006
Incipient garden gnomes pouring down again Wined & dined on August 6, 2006
New Gardegnomia Navigated to on July 30, 2006
A disastrous pie-eating contest Drawn and quartered on July 16, 2006
Gormless bastard! Located to the right of June 25, 2006
A cock-up, to be sure Erected on June 4, 2006
I thought this was better!? Harvested before May 28, 2006
Oatmeal cookies and their spies Weeded on May 21, 2006
Pam & Meg’s Wheeled about on April 23, 2006
The Englebee Troobles live! Transubstantiated on April 16, 2006
My new neighbor from Georgia Nazified on April 2, 2006
The haberdashery, act IV Wanted on March 26, 2006
The haberdashery, act III Haunted on March 19, 2006
I need a new hobby Telephoned on February 19, 2006
A pastry on both your houses! Made peace with on February 12, 2006
Hobnobbishly bamboozled, she said Interrupted before February 5, 2006
Schmongeling Gnomes from Westphalia? Schmongeled under January 8, 2006
368,000 firecrackers and a butcher shop Tarpapered over on January 1, 2006
Today being Christmas… Made merry on December 25, 2005
The perfect symmetry of a letter Excreted slightly before December 18, 2005
Shitlingthorpe–Alabaster Flapdoodles Zanzibarred on December 11, 2005
Thaddeus C.L. Harshbarger, the haberdasher Belted out on December 4, 2005
My house burned down today Incinerated on November 20, 2005
Stewing in my own juices Brewed on November 13, 2005
A visit to Eigentoria Emigrated on November 6, 2005
I shall visit Eigentoria Bandied about on October 30, 2005
The thick, meaty center of an eigenfactor Ridiculed on October 23, 2005
Caught in a wet noodling contest Noodled on October 16, 2005
The lawn gnomes prance! Gingerbreaded on October 9, 2005
Saturday was the worst Hobnobbed on October 2, 2005
The return of the garden gnomes Star-spangled high above September 25, 2005
Abortifacient skies, the burning air Slobbered all over on September 11, 2005
Troobles, long and hard Deluged on August 7, 2005
Soft, and steaming lightly Castigated on July 31, 2005
Umph… plurgh… splat! Beautified on July 17, 2005
I slithered blithely out the door Fetishized on July 3, 2005
A gaggle of garden gnomes Engulfed on June 26, 2005
Incipient garden gnomes pouring down Shined & enshrined on June 19, 2005

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